jwz: CDC’s updated guidelines for living with the zombie apocalypse:

Great news! The zombie war is over! You can come out of your bunkers now!

Did we win? No. We did something even better than winning: We suddenly became aware of the passage of time! Wars can end lots of ways — by winning, by surrendering, by a negotiated settlement, by simply deciding in our minds that they are over with or without consulting the facts on the ground.

Why are there new guidelines if nothing has changed?

Look, it is hard, and everyone’s trying! That’s the takeaway here! We’ve all learned and grown, and it’s time to move on!

But is the zombie war over?

Well, the fighting-zombies phase of the zombie war is over!

The way you phrased that made it sounds like the zombies are not … gone.

Yes, technically, in the most literal sense, the zombies are still among us, but much as we would like to be living in a totally zombie-free world, that was never the goal, except for a brief time when we were way too optimistic about what people were capable of.

Look, some people decided that the effort of eradicating the zombies wasn’t worth the inconvenience. Imagine having to bring a heavy, metal bat with you every time you go out! Imagine living like that! Well, because some people couldn’t do that for a limited time, now other people will have the opportunity to do that forever.

CDC drops quarantine, distancing recommendations for COVID | AP News:

This reads to me like an admission of defeat – Like as a culture we’ve accepted a certain level of death and long-term repercussions because people couldn’t be bothered to follow guidelines when we still had a chance of controlling things.

What this means for me, and those around me, is that we have to remain hyper-vigilant pretty much forever because we can’t trust that anyone else will do even the barest preventative measures.

Reference CDC page: https://www.cdc.gov/mmwr/volumes/71/wr/mm7133e1.htm?s_cid=mm7133e1_w

Daring Fireball: Spotify Is Acquiring Two Major Podcast Surveillance Ad Tech Platforms:

Spotify isn’t just trying to become the biggest name in podcasting (which has heretofore been, but may no longer be, Apple). They’re trying to usurp podcasting as we know it — one of the last and brightest bastions of the open, simple, private, transparent internet — and turn it into a privately-owned, gated, complicated, invasive, utterly closed platform. Spotify is trying to do to podcasting what Facebook did to “having your own website”.

Reader Comments for The New York Times’ “Homestyle Spaghetti Carbonara” Recipe | by todd levin | Feb, 2022 | Medium:

US Constitution for sale | Boing Boing:

A first printing of the United States Constitution is headed to auction in November. It’s one of just eleven known copies of the 500 printed for the Constitutional Convention and Continental Congress back in 1787, and the only one still privately-owned.

It’s probably good that Lord Dampnut is functionally broke, or we’d be seeing this show up on Faux News with a bunch of new ammendments in sharpie that suddenly prove he actually won.

I did a spit-take on the title, as it’s true in too many ways…

elementary OS 6 Odin Available Now ⋅ elementary Blog:

How do you get a bold, friendly new Linux UI? By shamelessly copying it from macOS apparently. Still, depending how faithfully they copied, it might actually make for a usable Linux distro.

Why is the English language so weird and inconsistent? Blame the printing press. | Boing Boing:

Refering to: Aeon – Typos, tricks and misprints

The same, however, cannot be said about the English language, which often feels like a clusterfuck of arbitrary rules. It’s a difficult and confusing language, but also a malleable one. Grammar and pronunciations vary depending on location, because it’s adaptable by design.

Boycotts Don’t Work, Do This Instead:

I disagree with the premise – Ask Papa Johns if a boycott can change company behavior… But the graphic does give good ideas on how to extend a boycott with wider behaviors… In particular, Atomic Mass (and by proxy Asmodee slash Fantasy Flight Games) mini games like Star Wars Legion or Marvel Crisis Protocol are really well worth the time.

The Advantages of Political Buffoonery:

1) It leads opponents to underestimate the ability and intelligence of the buffoon.

2) It provides deniability — “it was only a joke.”

3) It appeals to core supporters (many Africans loved Amin’s teasing of the former colonial masters).

4) It serves as a distraction from the more serious, perhaps frightening or incompetent, actions of the leader, what we now call the “dead cat” tactic.

5) It leads to ambiguity (was it a joke or not?), producing confusion and uncertainty about how to respond.

Behind all this is clearly what Freud recognized as the aggressive nature of joking. I suggest that buffoonery is, at root, a quintessentially masculine characteristic.

Sound familiar?

Dear HR: What Skin Color Emoji Am I Supposed to Use? – McSweeney’s Internet Tendency:

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Originally “Simpsons yellow” was clearly the safest choice. It signified the “everyman” of the emoji. But is this a cop-out? Does the yellow represent the cowardice of Homer (the cartoon, not the poet) and his people? Am I making a statement by trying not to make a statement? And what about Apu and Carl, why were they not yellow?! Where’s their statement?

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This is just for white people, right? Like, if your name is Brock and you don’t want to get into trouble with other white people, you pick this? Like, you know what you did and you’re ashamed. But how white is this one? Dying-by-gently-coughing-blood-into-a-handkerchief white or detonating-thirty-gallons-of-gasoline-at-a-baby-gender-reveal-party white? Because those are two different kinds and that doesn’t seem fair.